NOOO... NOT ANOTHER ONE OF THESE ...

Let me preface this post by stating that I've had a dream similar to this before a few years ago and it FREAKED ME OUT.  I truly hope to not have to go through one of these dreams any time soon.

The last post I wrote about an "inception" like dream called "lucid" dreaming where the dreamer is dreaming but isn't entirely fully asleep.  Well I had another one this morning.  I had already woken up a few times this morning when this dream occurred. 

Basically, my dream is that I am lying in bed (exact real time setting ) ... and I can't physically move. My body is so heavy and I have hardly a voice to speak, scream or cry.  The weird thing is, that I know I am dreaming, and I know I need to wake up, but my real struggle is trying to wake myself up.  I figured, that by falling off my bed, perhaps that would give me a jolt and therefore awaken me.  Unfortunately, because my body is so heavy, I am unable to push myself over the edge.  Eventually I get a call on my cell and that's all the jolt I need to wake up. 

As soon as I awaken, I look at my clock and realize that the dream had only lasted about 10 minutes, but in my dream, I felt like it was at least 2 hours of pure mental and physical struggle.  

I can't really explain the exact emotions that had resonated throughout this time ... all I can say is I hope this dream doesn't visit me any time soon. 

My Lucid Dreaming is nothing like this ...

There has been a lot of talk as of late in regards to dreaming, specifically with regards to the recent tragic events in Tucson, Arizona wherein Congresswoman Giffords and several others were violently gunned down by the very young Jarred Loughner. 

Recent information has surfaced claiming that Loughner had become fascinated with lucid dreaming, a dream state that you can enter when you are half asleep.  While dreaming, the individual is aware that he/she is in a state of dreaming yet continues to remain present within that dream as a dreamer.

For Loughner, his lucid dreaming is rather relevant to the heinous crime that took place because according to the European Science Foundation, lucid dreaming creates distinct patterns of electrical activity in the brain that have similarities to the patterns made by psychotic conditions.  Loughner's dream journal allegedly revealed statements of Congresswoman Gifford's "fakeness" of some sort.  The question as to what point in time his dream world and his real world became fatally intertwined is of great interest.

Let me just say, first of all, that the lucid dreaming that I partake in is not at all violent or frightening, but rather, a conscious presence of mind that I am not asleep nor that I am fully awake.  In fact, my lucid dreaming is merely being so self aware that I can see myself as a third person. 

Second of all, Loughner's alleged drug habit most likely prevented him from fully sleeping and also could have had an affect on his psychotic violent condition.  I am very very far from this. VERY VERY FAR FROM THIS.

Moreover, Loughner could have very well been plagued with psychological delusions evident in lucid dreaming taking place repeatedly after the subject has already awoken.  Again, I AM NOT DELUSIONAL.

I do not mean for this post to seem overly defensive (defensive for nothing in fact) however, I do feel it necessary to distinguish those everynight/day dreamers from those whose lives have unfortunately been plagued with heavy drug use and whatever other causal effects that subsequently lead to a tipping point of such  magnitude.  Whatever the case may be, dream journals are very telling (as I have come to realize with the creation of this blog). 

The Dangers of Bear Spray

Prior to explaining this dream, I feel it is essential to provide a little bit of background:

Over the holidays, my mother decided to contact my dearest love via text message regarding purchasing pepper spray for her daugther in order to provide some safety measure for her walks home from where she parks her car so late at night.  Of course, the response she received was that pepper spray is illegal in Canada, BUT, bear spray could be used in the case of an emergency providing the similar excruciating affects of pepper spray.  Given her overbearing (no pun intended) concern for her only child, she immediately insisted I purchase a can of bear spray from Canadian Tire, which, might I add is $50.00 after tax.  So now, I am told by my mother that I must carry this large can of bear spray in my bag at all times! **Background finished (below please see a picture of the infamous spray) **

Onto the Dream:

So last night, I dreamt that I was in a forest all by my lonesome, awaiting something (I can't entirely recollect what,) but I remember it was something scary .... and everytime something would present itself from the shadows it proved to be but a mere cuddly cute rabbit or squirrel of some sort and I would have to resist spraying.  All of the waiting of course made the anxiety more unbearable (no pun intended again) and suddenly from the shadows of a bush I was hiding beside came a BIG .... FAT .... SCARY .... Deer. Yup... and of course, I sprayed the poor harmless deer until it fell to the floor and I was left to rehabilitate this now blinded creature ...

Truly, it was horrible.  I felt extremely guilty.  Especially since I do love animals so much... and especially since it was a deer and NOT a bear nor a rapist or serial killer. 

I really can't say what this dream means. Am I waiting for something ugly to come my way? Should I be more cautious about whom I judge to be scary and mean?  Bear Spray Ina? Really?  Alas, this is not the weirdest of my dreams, but I can for certain say that the things that happen in real life are often reflected in weird presentations at night whilst I sleep.  Till next time .... sweet dreams people!